The Bowl from Hell

I've been dreading this bowl. Back when college football had ties I could have rooted for one in this case, but the powers that be started overtime a few years back and that means there will be a winner tonight in the Cotton Bowl. Like the Orange Bowl, the Cotton Bowl (see the Heart of Dallas Bowl post) is not played in the Cotton Bowl. It's played at what we in Texas call JerryWorld, the stadium built by Cowboys' owner Jerry Jones (who played football at Arkansas) worth over a billion dollars. JerryWorld is famous for its extras: obnoxious bars, luxury boxes on the ground, pole dancing cheerleaders in the sky, huge video screens, retractable roof, and a Victoria Secret shop. Everything but actual football.

A&M found themselves a coach finally if Kevin Sumlin, a young, exciting coach with guts. He has a stud quarterback who won the Heisman Trophy as a freshman, Johnny "Football" Manziel. The kid wanted to come to Texas, Mack Brown. I could bore you with paragraphs about how Mack Brown has screwed up quarterbacks and quarterback recruiting at Texas. Let me just put it this way. My high school (a Texas high school in of all places Austin - where Mack Brown works) had more alumni (two - Drew Brees and Nick Foles) start at quarterback in the NFL this year than the freaking University of Texas. There are an incredible number of current starting quarterbacks in the NFL from Texas (Andrew Luck, Robert Griffin - another Heisman Trophy winner Mack turned down, Drew Brees, Nick Foles, the kid at Detroit, etc.) and NONE of them played at Texas. You see why I hate this bowl game? How does Mack Brown have the highest paid head coaching job, much less a job, in Texas.

OU has Mack Brown's arch nemesis in Bob Stoops. Bob owns Mack Brown. Bob beats Texas every year in October. He has inflicted the four worst defeats in Texas' history on Mack Brown led teams. I think Mack Brown must have pictures of our athletic director and board of regents committing crimes. No wait, every UT regent has been appointed by our governor Rick Perry - an Aggie. It all makes sense now. Keep Texas with an overrated, over the hill coach so your alma mater can rise from the ashes with a kick butt coach and quarterback - oh, now I'm getting carried away and this paragraph was supposed to be about Oklahoma.

Oklahoma had an up and down year. Landry Jones from Artesia, New Mexico, is their senior quarterback. He will lead OU against A&M. He runs a neat little Bob Stoops offense that will give the Aggies some problems if they are on. If they are not, A&M should blow OU out. I think A&M might have ended the year as the best [cough, choke, cough] team in the country (see what they did to Alabama in Tuscaloosa as proof).

I don't think I'll watch tonight. I'm going to eat steak with Patricia instead. I hope bad weather forces a blackout and the whole thing is cancelled. Bleah...